Thursday, December 13, 2012

Butter update and confessions of a crap parent

Butter update: Since starting the kids on a no-sugar, no-refined grains, a la Nourishing Traditions,  just in time for the holidays seems ill-judged, I'm reigning in the butter consumption in the Pitkin-Kennedy household.

However, I'm fired up for January. Since I do have some trust issues with the Nourishing Traditions cookbook, I was very happy to find a source for similar information that appears more credible: It all seems a bit more scientifically and common sensically grounded.

Meanwhile, I'm thinking long and hard about homeschooling. In theory, I think it would be great for Forest.

He could keep following his crafting muse to the utmost.

And while there is much I love about the idea, I'm scared of the one big fly I see struggling in the ointment: me.

I love my kids no matter what, but I love them even more when they come in small doses. I wish it weren't so. All it takes is a mere day or two on my own with them and the kids aren't the only ones having tantrums. I scream at them. I make completely inappropriate pronouncements like "Thank god for daycare." And I don't think I've stalked out of so many rooms since I my tumultuous adolescence. Working in an office four days a week has improved my tolerance for my children, but I've never loved Mondays like I do now. Obviously, homeschooling is a really stinko idea for me.

However, I'm stubborn and have a proven track-record of making questionable decisions. ("Hey, I know! Lets leave Brooklyn for an off-the-grid cabin in the Maine woods. I'm sure we can make it work!") So, now that my temp job has ended, I am starting on a self-improvement campaign to see if I can change myself from the person I am into the person I want to be. I give myself some points for Eternal Optimism, but probably they are more than cancelled out by all the Punk Ass Fool points I merit.

Fool or no, stubborn wins. My first steps are to start a daily meditation practice and to check some time-management books out from the library.

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